hampi go go!

thanks to the detailed and frank descriptions of dysentery in the lonely planet guide, as well as the indian transportation system, i have reverted back to my anal phase. we're talking freud here...not about my past employment (it's a joke mom, i'll explain over lasagna). as a pee machine and coffee addict, a good 60% of my energy involves finding a bathroom, or thinking about spawning a business over where i've found the best places to relieve myself. however, when faced with the options of taking a 15 hour tour bus without facilities, or walking...i've chosen the latter, only to be beaten by ellen in a thumb war and coaxed into taking the bus. i have done this twice. has my bladder become stronger...no. but thanks to a year in china, im a pretty good squatter and i've always been keen on marking my territory on national monuments (watch out taj mahal)...as well as the gardens of shiji ming yuan (my apt. complex).
piling into what was supposed to be a 10 hour bus from goa to hampi, we were met with a cattle car equipped with reasonable sleepers, but inhumane chairs. luckily we opted for the "sleepers". it is really impossible to use them for their desired purpose when you stop every 20 minutes to cram more people into the flood-lit cage, jump over packs and children, or try to do your stuff in the dark next to a cow and what could potentially be a rabid dog because they look like they might cover your ass from the all-too-eager locals who wanna sneak a peek. it was insane. every time i was about to go or mid-stream, the bus driver or a random would appear screaming "hampi go go," and i'd have to half zip and run. this did not make me happy...but it ended.
upon reaching our desired destination, we were hassled by a billion people shoving business cards of all kinds into our faces. i figured breathing into their faces would stop the onslaught...but i think they liked it. tom's of maine sweeping the globe!
hampi is/was amazing. according to the locals and all of their exquisitely hand-painted signs which make me soooo happy, this city has more ruins than any other location in the country. while many opted to explore via rickshaw, we took to cruisers and pedalled our way through the ruins for about 2 days. as there are soo many, the chances of running into another group of raging tourists are slim to none. it gave ellen and i a lot of time time to catch up in the shade of decaying post and lintel constructions, or even atop granite boulders. dare i mention im a GRANITEVILLE GAL??? oh i did, born and raised on ada drive, which was featured on the news 2 summers ago and my neighbor was housing chemicals to build bombs. represent!
we met a gal and her boyfriends from australia who were darling and gave us a lot of tips about vietnam and cambodia (we're considering). they warned us of the insane amount of con artists and we both parted ways, only to get ripped off again by a man selling ice candy that tasted like ass. but it was cold ass, and we were hot.
the second day we ventured several miles around the ruins and got a little lost when we ended up on a plateau of rock that seemed to stretch on forever. everyone kept assuring us that there was a path five minutes away. for anyone that has ridden a cruiser, they are like an obese twelve year old who wants to be carried all of time. it's annoying and just not right. cruisers are for people who want to go on a flat road one way, and then the other way at a comfortable speed as they wave to all of their neighbors and avoid hitting any cats. they are not meant to be dragged up rocky stairwells next to cows, goats, and the child paparazzi that keep trying to get you to pose for a picture as you can feel the sweat dripping down your lobster face. every five minutes someone assured us it would be over in 5 minutes. and hour later, we somehow linked up with the main road and hopped back on our 12 yr. olds and road off to the shared showers, which faced the street so you got to hear hagglers and random pipe music and you lathered...ahhh!!! i wish we could've stayed there longer...but onto that place i can't pronounce...